‘I’m taking a social media break’
‘I’m limiting my screentime using this app’
‘My social media makes me feel lacking / bad / ugly / poor / like a failure’
I’ve heard all of these in the last week. Like … since Monday. And so, we’re here. Let’s talk social media. Actually, let’s talk upping the vibration of our relationship with social media.
Because I used to be one of the above. I used to feel this underlying sense of scarcity as I scrolled through. I didn’t have a body like that. I didn’t have a business like them. I didn’t have their relationship. I didn’t drink green smoothies every morning (and I still don’t, but that’s a story for another day). I didn’t have vrschikasana in my practice (still don’t, boo). The list goes on and to the most minute and insignificant levels. And yet I scrolled and consumed for hours daily.
But now? I am actively uplifted by the content I consume through my social media apps. No, honestly. I’m not sugarcoating. And you can too … it’s silly simple!
OBSERVE YOUR TRIGGERS
Ok, rip off the bandaid time. There was a truth I had to face if I wasn’t going to mass-unfollowed out of fear.
The issue wasn’t with SM. The issue was that I had been letting these snippets of content to control my emotions. Ms Roosevelt said it best, ‘no one can make you feel inferior without your consent’.
Basically, I had been going around having a personal pity party – an internal one, because I think I knew I was talking bullshit! – blaming the content I CHOSE for making me feel badly. I mean …
Usually at this point you’ll be advised to unfollow anyone who doesn’t ‘spark joy’ ‘serve you’ (I’ve SO much to say on that one!) or whatever. Please stay with me through the next steps before you decide!
So here I am, in an e-arena with every fucking trigger I could imagine. I had body shaming, biological clock nonsense, toxic masculinity, white feminism, lack-consciousness, FOMO, slut-shaming, spiritual shaming (oh that’s a GOOD one!) and, like a million more I don’t even remember at this stage. And I’d CALLED THEM IN!!! I’d clicked the ‘follow’ button.
Once I’d become conscious of that, I was able to see it all so clearly. Oh there’s a trigger, and another one, oh hi honeeeey I thought we’d seen the back of you … on and on. For a few days I kept up my consumption habits and just watched myself. The mental narrative. The contraction of the body. Anywhere I flared, I noted.
QUESTION YOUR TRIGGERS
First things first, if triggering content comes up that you are not ready or wanting to engage with, delete that bitch. No ifs, buts or maybes. There’ll always be a stream of agitating comments, captions and snapshots to feel into if you’re ready. But until then, get rid, no guilt. Boundaries are sexy, baby.
I was ready to play with these shadows so, after I’d spent that couple of days observing, I started to question. Why did this piece of writing, or this image, or even this hashtag (no joke!) put my back up or make me curl in on myself a little? Why did this momentary glimpse into someone’s life cause my mind to jump on the judgement train – of them, of me, of everyone!? So I why’d my way through, scroll after scroll.
It was intense!
I found that my ego was running the show. I was engaging with all of this content from a deep scarcity mindset. I was continuously reinforcing the fact that I didn’t have, or I couldn’t do, or I wasn’t there, or I wasn’t enough. And what was I really reinforcing? The manifestation of LACK!
Innate worth? Psssh girl, I knew NOTHING of that when I was ‘asleep’. I was relying on the external to set my value. And the matrix always wants you to feel bottom-of-the-barrel. Because when you’re fearful or self-conscious or worried, you’re easy to sell to!
MAKE A DECISION
So I’d observed. I’d found what felt like several thousand trigger points! Again there was a push to delete the offending content. Keep only the ‘nice’ SM profiles. But I didn’t do that.
Instead I made four groups and assessed my SM based on them:
- Content I learn nothing from
- Content I enjoy learning from
- Content I am triggered by and learning from
- Content I am triggered by and am not learning from because the trigger is too strong
Group one got a fast delete. If I’m giving energy (engaging with this content) but getting nothing positive back – soz bbz, you’re out. No hard feelings but we’ve got no need of eachother in this life cirriculum.
Group two I happily kept. The content that ‘resonates’, aka feels good and uplifts. A no-brainer.
Group three is where the fun really happened. I kept these guys. I chose to use content from group three as practice in moving through my shadows that lay underneath those triggers. I did this by cultivating increasing awareness of the reaction to the triggers – could I catch them before they had hold of my emotions? Before they flared my insecurities? Before they hit me emotionally at all? Could I become so attuned to my physical and mental reactions to these triggers that, eventually, I wasn’t impacted by them – I’d already moved past and released them?
Lord knows, this is a day by day practice. It’s choosing to show up. Daily. But it is SO much fun (my idea of fun could be called ‘intense work’ but where’s the joy in those words?!)
Group four was actually empty for me but it would have been a STRAIGHT DELETE. It’s important to know that where triggers are too strong, aka you are not able to step in and be aware of the triggering process, where you get lost in emotion, where you experience PTSD, you do not need to engage with that content. It does you no good. There’s no muscling through this one. As you engage with healing in whatever way works for you, these triggers can become surmountable. Or maybe they don’t. And that’s cool too. We’ve all got a life curriculum, a karmic cycle, to fulfil during our time on this plane.
I don’t play with social media when I’m feeling low vibration. FULL STOP. Because social media isn’t going to pull me up. No matter how many inspirational quotes I flick past or how many heartfelt ‘it gets better’ IGLives I see, it’s not helping me if I’m not in a place to be helped. And I’ve been in this game long enough to know that the way to get my vibrations back to a happy operating level is to go inward. SM is the opposite of that.
When I’m feelin’ fine, I use my SM time as a practice in being present. In actually seeing and feeling into what I’m consuming. Mindless scrolling BEGONE! And when I’m done, or I can’t keep my mind there, I know it’s time to stop consuming and start creating.
SAME KEY, DIFFERENT DOOR
Awareness, baby. Cultivating awareness will change your life. I’ve a whole post on conscious thinking and getting to the ‘now’ that can help with that. Through awareness we can actually SEE what we’re up to when we’re driven by ego and conditioning. We can see how we spend 90% of our time – which is unconsciously! And when we can see it, we can change it. That’s the magic.