Healing with the Divine Masculine

Women are remembering their power. They are collectively remembering that they are the bringers of life. They are remembering the alchemy of their cycles and they are remembering that they are the goddess manifest.

The conscious and awakened feminine is divine and it’s about time we claimed it.

That is fucking epic.

Yet the collective pain body carried by women when it comes to men and the masculine energy is significant. So as we awaken and move forward, how to we find healing and balance and love in the divine masculine?

The Misunderstanding

For most of us, what we think of and understand as masculinity and femininity isn’t divine. It’s tainted with conditioning and trauma and societal norms.

If we’re cis-gendered female then the relearning our relationship to our feminine can be a lifelong journey. We carry so much pain from generations and lives past that, often, our true voice, our sensuality, our menstruation and our sexuality are coated in shame and darkness.

If we are female-identifying, born in an anatomically male body, our journey has a whole other level of processing to undergo. My hope is that every individual living this experience has a safe container to do so in.

And then comes the masculine – as much a part of each one of us as our feminine. How those who we see as masculine act towards us forms the relationship we have with the energy as a whole.

Had a man in your childhood who neglected you? Left you? Abused you? Scared you? Shamed you? Needed you to parent him? Was unreliable?

How do you think that’ll impact how you view the masculine? We carry those impressions in our tissues. They inform how we attract, assimilate and project masculine energy. Energy of structure, heat, protection and linear action.

A Tale as Old as Time

How do your relationships with men usually go? Do you see the same spirit show up with a different face, again and again? Do you always end up with your energy, self-worth or bank account depleted? Or do you just keep on keeping on, out of rote or habit – ignoring the niggling annoyances or under-cutting? Yeah, that’s some unhealed masculine/feminine right there.

Or maybe it’s an inner dialogue that keeps showing up. Why aren’t you doing more? Why are you so weak? Why aren’t you better at X? Why aren’t you smarter? These can manifest as you beating the shit out of yourself with your routine and schedule. It can be you shutting down. Hardening. The refusal of permission to feel.

There is so much masculine goodness to get into. And, yes, it’s 100% possible to heal these wounds.

See this is the thing. Masculine + feminine = balance. So as we heal one, the other tends to grow too. Rising tides lift all boats. Life’s cool like that.

The REAL Divine Masculine

Divine energy is pure love. That’s how you can tell if what you’re dealing with is the real deal. Ask yourself, ‘does this originate from a place of love or higher good?’. If not, then where is it coming from?

Let’s talk internally. The divine masculine will show up in purpose-driven action-taking. It’ll be there in supportive structure; a routine that enforces holistic well-being or knowing it’s time to move on from heartbreak. It’ll manifest as loyalty and protection grounded, that’s right folks, in the highest good. I think we can all agree, this is some pretty good shit. Can you see some areas where you’re out of balance?

What about external, let’s talk how we project our internal relationship with the masculine into the outer world. Because that’s what we’re doing. We speak so often about manifesting and drawing in but what we’re really doing, always, always is projecting.

Let’s not over-complicate it. Can you look at a male friend, a male lover, a male ANYWHERE and say, ‘I can see the divine in him’? It could be how they care for their child. It could be how they bolster and uplift those around them. It could be how they protect you (note: PROTECT, not overshadow or smother or deny you experience!). It could be the awakened path they pave to reach their goals. It will always, always be you glimpsing their higher Self.

Loving the Masculine

The masculine energy is beautiful and necessary. Our yin (the feminine) is about creation and nurture and sensuality and insight. Internally it needs masculine balance to reach a whole and higher lever of awareness. Externally, the masculine and feminine need to work in union. To develop our innate skills to uplift humanity. The divine masculine and feminine are not equal. Together they are whole. And each one of us developing that whole within us is essential to our awakening and up-levelling.

What is masculine to you?: free-write this one. Take a piece of paper (or your laptop though I, personally, don’t find this as organic), write masculine on the top and write everything that comes to mind. I’m talking stream-of-consciousness stuff. The pen doesn’t really leave the page. No stopping, no thinking, no erasing. Go for as long as you naturally can. Reading back over these can be interesting to say the least!

Get into your masculine influences: begin with childhood and note (on paper or mentally) the relationships you had with men in your formative years. How did they make you feel? How would you describe them? If you had any masculine trauma as a child even this can be a big practice – be kind to yourself.

Become familiar with your inner masculine: coming back to the now, how do you deal with taking action (do you stall yourself? do you jump in before thinking?), with loyalty (who do you show it to? what boundaries do you have in place?), with protection (do you live in fear? do you purposefully put yourself in questionable situations? do you chase adrenaline?), with structure (hedonist? slave to your schedule?). Take one at a time and just see where you’re sitting. This isn’t self-flagellation, this is getting to know the us of today – it’s lighting up some of that shadow.

Find the divine in another: sometimes it’s easier to see things from the outside. Find a man, any man, in whom you can sense the divine. We’re not talking Buddha here, they may not be levitating examples of liberation. But we all hold the divine/source/god in us. I’m not even going to give examples. Find what resonates with you. No rose-tinted glasses here. I’m talking your inner divine recognising the divine in another.

Revisit these practices monthly and see how things are progressing. The real god is the recognition of the highest self in another, the more you do it the more you see it – life’s funny like that.

If you are someone with significant trauma around the masculine then I would step very slowly into this if it is what you choose to do. Ensure your support system is in place. Have someone to talk to. Beginning with the feminine could be a more gentle place to begin.

This isn’t a weekend practice. Appreciate where you are. You’ve gotten this far and that deserves recognition. Everything you’re doing is lining you up for your growth. Relax into that. Trust.

I’ll do a whole other post on healing the feminine and then one on putting ALL the good stuff together to step into your whole, highest self.

One thought on “Healing with the Divine Masculine

  1. for me, masculinity is: knowing who you are, where you are going, having your own path, not letting others to manipulate you, control you, use, to be dangerous, to be provocative and to love your family and to protect them at all costs..to appreciate children and women and sacrifice for them…at same time asserting yourself.

    anyway, good post.


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